From behind prison bars, Sam Bankman-Fried continues to make headlines. Even though he stole $8 billion from FTX customers, he thinks he has a chance on his 2023 appeal, or his new 2026 pro se (self-represented) retrial request.
In reality, he’s simply following cringeworthy pre-written plans to exploit any media stunt that has a chance of getting him out of prison.
Ever the autist, Bankman-Fried wrote down tactics to get out of custody after his arrest. Haphazardly, he itemized them in a simple Google Doc that soon went through legal discovery processes.
Thanks to a sentencing submission that helped earn him a 25-year prison sentence, the criminal mastermind’s formerly “confidential” document is now in the public domain.
Putting Bankman-Fried’s January 15, 2023 document side-by-side with his broadcasts from prison today, anyone can quickly identify his premeditated stunts.
Sam Bankman-Fried Google Doc written January 15, 2023. Source: PACER, Bloomberg
Manufacture media to get out of prison
For example, he proposed a fake conversion to win over conservatives. “Go on Tucker Carlsen, come out as a republican… Come out against the woke agenda.”
As another way to fabricate sympathetic media coverage, “Have Michael Lewis interview me on e.g. ABC.”
Bankman-Fried was so desperate that he thought an argumentative podcast appearance might be worth a shot. “Go head to head with Matt Levine on Odd Lots, really lean in to arguments.”
To be specific, Bankman-Fried wrote 12 ideas after US authorities indicted, arrested, extradited, and arraigned him. A dozen last-ditch efforts to manipulate the media.
“Come out with a strong anti-Binance message,” he thought. If only he could convince people to hate CZ more than his own crimes.
A jury convicted Bankman-Fried on seven criminal charges. Although he has a right to file appeals and requests for retrials, those efforts are exceedingly unlikely to gain appellate approval.
The most likely outcome is that his prison sentence will not change, leaving him with only one hope: a presidential pardon.
‘It’s like, just get me out of here’
On the topic of pardons, which Donald Trump has handed out generously to wealthy crypto insiders like Ross Ulbricht and Changpeng Zhao, YouTuber Atrioc summarized his view of Bankman-Fried’s thought process.
“I think after two years in the same jail as Diddy, SBF finally realized, no matter how embarrassing it is, he’s got to use his 10 minutes a week of internet access. Because he recently tweeted this: Why I became a Republican in 2022.”
Laughing at the obvious self-interest of Bankman-Fried’s broadcast from prison and half-hearted conversion, Atrioc highlighted his difficult-to-believe assertions.
“Biden bungled crypto,” he tweeted from prison via a proxy.
“@realDonaldTrump is right on crypto,” he beamed.
Read more: Diddy joins SBF, Avraham Eisenberg in ‘horrific’ Brooklyn prison
“Biden bungled COVID,” Bankman-Fried parroted Trump style. “Insane Dem woke policies.”
Atrioc called out these obvious theatrics. “Like you almost have to respect that he waited two years before going for the pardon. He went for the Hail Mary pardon, because Trump’s pardoning every villain you can see.
“It is the most transparent pardon attempt you can imagine. He tags Trump like every post. It’s just embarrassing, it’s embarrassingly transparent. It’s like, just get me out of here.”
